‘Living Dangerfield’: Quotations To Live By- I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all. I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield- One Of The Genuine Stand-Up Greats As He Appeared On The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson On Feb.18,1982!
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By Rich Buckland • 09/23/2012 01:03 PM